Look at this motherfuckin' crawfish, bitches!

Marinate on this one. If a woman hires someone to kill her estranged husband  and his new girlfriend, it is acceptable; she can just rest at home for three years. On the other hand, if a man steals crawfish, he can bet his thieving ass that he will sit in a jail cell for two years.

Even without me, there is never a dull moment in my hometown, folks.

Today was one of the most positive first days of work I have ever had as a school administrator.   Yeah, I know.  I’m shocked too.  Personally, I think I deserve it after the toxicity from which I just rid myself.

Being new to an existing building has its advantages and disadvantages.   While I am basking in the glow of all the positivity around me, I do not know the building very well which can be a huge disadvantage (even though I have a school map and an app for that).   This is where you, I Read Banned Books visitors, come in.  I want you to send me on a scavenger hunt.

Who: My lovers, lurkers, twisties, and stalkers

What:  The Psycho Hose Beast Goes on a Scavenger Hunt

When: 8/17/10 – 8/22/10

Where: Higher Ground School (Yes, this is what I’m calling the new work location.)

Why: Because y’all worship me and know that I will go voodoo on all y’all’s asses!

How: Leave a comment here naming the item you would like me to find.  I will post pictures of the found items in a follow-up post on Monday, August 23, 2010.

Disclaimer:  I reserve the right to edit requests and/or photos and be a creative bitch in order to keep both my own and also my employer’s identities private.  In other words, think before you order me to … I don’t know … just challenge me.

With that said, you are now cordially invited to challenge my superior intellect and sarcastic attitude. 

I have spent the last 67 days in what I refer to as D & R (detox and recovery).  While I have not been around I Read Banned Books much, I have been planning for the upcoming school year and moving on from the House of Horrors.  I mentioned a little while back that I movin’ on up to the East side.  There was a slight change of plans and location due to the budget crisis in our state and school district.  I am still migrating to a high school, but this one is extremely close to home.  I will be working with a fantastic team, and I am optimistic about my future as a school administrator for the first time in a very long time.  The last two years have been a long and winding road, but I finally feel like I have made it to higher ground.

Feel free to speculate in my comments.   Go ahead; you know you want to try to match my superior intellect and sarcastic attitude.

Sign it.  Share it.  Be the one.

Celebrate the 50th anniversary of the Pulitzer Prize-winning novel, To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee!

This heart-wrenching, coming-of-age tale set in a South poisoned by virulent prejudice, has been translated into more than forty languages, sold more than thirty million copies worldwide, served as the basis of an enormously popular motion picture, and was voted one of the best novels of the twentieth century by librarians across the country.

As the self-proclaimed reader of banned books, I am often asked to name my favorite banned book and explain why I love it so.  Longtime readers of this blog know that Harper Lee’s coming of age novel To Kill a Mockingbird has impacted me not only as a woman, a parent, and an educator but more so as a human being.  Lee’s powerful words resonate with me each time I read the novel and long afterward.  I learned as many lessons about courage, compassion, and self-awareness from Atticus Finch as his children Jem and Scout did.

You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view… Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.

This simple yet crucial bit of advice should govern all of our lives.  I try to live my life by taking time to see things from every perspective.  We all struggle with trying to live with sympathy and understanding toward others.  If you have never read To Kill a Mockingbird, there is no better time than the present.  It is a timeless reminder that tolerance and compassion for all is just as clear today as it was 50 years ago.

Thank you, Miss Nelle Harper Lee, for enriching our lives.

In my last post, I proclaimed that I was going to dust off the treadmill and start running.  Baby steps have to be taken because I have never been a runner in the truest sense of the word.  However, I do love the idea of being a runner.  I am also obsessed with my laptop and the internet lately.  I know I need to disconnect once in a while, but it is so hard during the summer when I am tired and bored.  It’s not only my stress reliever but also my primary source of entertainment.

After speaking with a consultant on Thursday, I decided to marry my two lovers rather than making excuses.  Oh, yes, I am totally going to love my new relationship with T-Pain and Sweetmeat.  (Yes, I chose T-Pain because beauty is painful.  Sweetmeat has always been my laptop’s name even though I never declared it here on the blog.)

Just for my girl, Citizen Janey,  I am going to consummate this new relationship by watching Mad Men Seasons 1-3 on my new SurfShelf.

Workout.  Have fun.  Get things done. Email.  Chat.  Tweet.  Plurk.  Blog.  YouTube.  Dance.  Hulu.  Facebook.  Netflix.  Surf until the weight is gone.  Whatever it takes.

It’s only a matter of time before I have people standing up and saluting my ass.