Who Is This Psycho Hose Beast? « I Read Banned Books

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Who Is This Psycho Hose Beast?

What can I say? I’m just different. Although no one believes me, I have always been a Southern girl and still have a Southern girl’s values. I know everything and I am NEVER wrong. Don’t try to make me admit it if you think I am. I shamelessly procrastinate, but it works for me (most of the time). I was born in a small town, and my parents (like the Cougar’s) still live in the same small town. I love my husband to the sky. My stepson is bringing stinky back.I am the proud mom of a Boston Terrorist and three beotch kitties. I am an old soul, loving all things vintage and retro. Dark roast coffee, rich red wine, sushi, Cajun cuisine, and ice-cold vodka are love. I profess to read banned books, but it is more like collect them and start them. I will be inked in 2008, but I have a personal goal I need to achieve first. It’s pronounced vay-gun not vee-gun, dumbasses. Do you seriously think a Coonass doesn’t eat meat? Obviously, I am snarkier than thou. I am a middle school disciplinarian, and it is a thankless (but necessary) job. I loathe stupidity. My family is a freak show without the tent. Accept no substitutes. Be nice, or leave now.

11 Comments »

11 Responses

on June 15, 2008 at 1:15 pm | Reply Freaks and Geeks (TT 27) « I Read Banned Books

[...] Who Is This Psycho Hose Beast? [...]
on June 21, 2008 at 11:03 am | Reply Ken Stewart (ChangeForge)

Classic…
on June 26, 2008 at 12:42 am | Reply bernie

I read your disclaimer in the sidebar, what do you consider excessive masturbation? I heard on the news the other day that masturbating 5 times a week will lower the incidence of prostate cancer but I don’t know which two days to stop.
on July 16, 2008 at 3:26 pm | Reply Jojo

First I thought this chick is nuts! Then I thought, we would make good friends…cool site, will browse through
on October 15, 2008 at 3:59 pm | Reply Baron Doune

Ok I’m in love…marry me?

Could ebay the old wife…would that be ok?

pat

ps. Love your thought process it’s like a breath of fresh air tonight. Thank you.
on October 15, 2008 at 7:04 pm | Reply aaron

In wisconsin we pronounce it vee-gan. Not vee-gun, or vay-gun.
on October 16, 2008 at 11:39 am | Reply Brian from Texas

Dude

this “chick” rocks. Sorry for the designation-”chick” is so overused and contrite, but anything else sounds so formal.

greatness.

vegans=douchbags

cajuns=level folks

and nice touch with the old school Wayne’s World reference

I have hope for humanity
on October 16, 2008 at 11:40 am | Reply Brian from Texas

Oh yeah…

cats suck.

Sushi kicks much ass.
on November 20, 2008 at 3:33 pm | Reply sarcastrix

I think I love you. Except for the not-gay thing.

But still, sorry, it’s vee-gun. Only meat-eaters say vay-gun.
on January 4, 2009 at 9:03 pm | Reply Meet the Exes #19: Mr. Strawberry Hill | Miss Attitude

[...] Cajunvegan [...]
on April 9, 2009 at 5:33 am | Reply Get Your Ex Back

Not that I’m impressed a lot, but this is more than I expected when I stumpled upon a link on Digg telling that the info here is quite decent. Thanks.