When I Grow up, I Want to Be A Dumbass
2 Jul
I have a low tolerance for the dumbass; however, oblivion is where it’s at for this week’s Thursday 13. I know that my tag line states please do not hate me for my superior intellect and sarcastic attitude. Lately, I have wondered what it would be like to be totally oblivious to the world around me like these dumbasses.
- People who bring their small children to movie theaters.
- People who block aisles with shopping carts and fail to heed the repeated “excuses me’s” until I jam them with my own shopping cart.
- People who talk loudly on their cell phones in restaurants.
- People who “reply to all” in emails.
- People who have poor personal hygiene.
- People who snort every time they laugh.
- People who leave their turn signals on … for miles and miles without ever making a turn.
- People who knock on my closed office door and ask “Are you busy?” or “Do you have a minute?” when I am obviously working (or taking a nap Costanza style under my desk).
- People who want to “ax me a question.”
- People who say “liberry.”
- People who are perky first thing in the morning.
- People who know it all but cannot do it all.
- People who have the fucking nerve to call me a dumbass.
Great list I have to agree with you on all counts. Someone called you a dumbass??? Hold on……while I grab MY voodoo doll. Now let me at ‘em!!!!
Why does it feel SO good to hear/read other people rant about the same things that drive me crazy? This was a great pick-me-up this morning.
Here’s my facebook status from last week:
Ok people, I have nine children. They all had their moments when they were babies … but I never let them cry, scream and screech in the library, store or restaurant. I took that as a clue they needed to go home and I certainly wasn’t going to expose the rest of the world to the high pitch decibels that only a baby can reach IN OTHER WORDS, “Your baby is driving me crazy!!!” Maybe I am intolerant in my old age
I can’t stand perky morning people either, and that seems to be all the rage for morning news anchors these days.
Who the hell called you a dumbass, and do they still have their head?
I hate all of those things, but must admit Mamacita says liberry and it drives me batshit crazy every single time!
If I still lived in Vermont I would agree with your entire list. Now this list is my reality.
Seriously, you cannot live in NYC. We do all of that, except #7 because who uses a turn signal? And #8 we just barge in, a shut door is a door that needs to be opened.
What the hell is a “liberry” and why would I want to say it?
OMG ~ you are me with tits!
What an awesome list! You are Fucking Fabulous, my dear….fucking fabulous!!
What’s liberry?
Perky morning people should be the 8th wonder of the world.
Caught herself driving with her damned blinker on a couple of miles after she’d shifted lanes the other day. Typically, I hit it off immediately, so I have no clue what my problem was. I smacked myself, and told myself to do better next time.
“Liberry” and “ax a question” drive me INSANE! WTF, man??
Early-morning people should be certified and locked up.
Great list! For a second I thought you just read my mind to write it!
so..maybe..and its just a thought..you should ax the liberr-ian if she’s busy….lmao