What Would CV Do at Work If She Knew She Would Not Fail?

6 Jan

Only one day into the daily grind after a two-week vacation, I am daydreaming of ways to check out at work.  Since Thursday 13 is no longer an option, I am now a Ten Things Tuesday lemming.  Smooches to Mrs. Chili for a fucking fabulous idea I have coveted for over the last year.  Without further ado, here are 10 things I am committed to “test driving” at work over the next few weeks:

  1. Taking a nap under my desk a la George Costanza.  (Check.  I test drove that one already.)
  2. Sending Swiss Miss an email that says, “If anyone needs me, I am taking a nap under my desk.”
  3. Playing with my iPhone Light Saber, decision maker, and bubble wrap popper apps during an administrative meeting.
  4. Drinking a non-alcoholic beverage from a paper bag all day.
  5. Calling out “I’LL GET IT!” every time one of the office phones rings.
  6. Yelling out “THEY’RE LOOSE! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!” every time the students are released from the cafeteria after lunch for a week.
  7. Saving the shredded paper to fill the boss’ car the next time she sends me to fetch something from her car.
  8. Adding the following event to the school’s calendar to repeat every day at 11:11 as a reminder on each person’s computer:  Ooh, It’s 11:11!  Make a wish!
  9. Riding in the elevator from the top of the gymnasium to the floor level (one flight of stairs) because I have PMS.
  10. Putting all of the discipline referrals I receive for the next 19 weeks and 3 days in the trash can which I recently relabeled recycling bin.

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16 Responses to “What Would CV Do at Work If She Knew She Would Not Fail?”

  1. topsurf January 6, 2009 at 1:39 am #

    I have to admit I do not have an iPhone, however I do own a iTouch with two out of three of those apps loaded on it and oh, hell yes, I have done that at a planning meeting before at school. Oh and if my school had an elevator you can bet your bottom dollar this girl would be riding it daily without fail!

    Reply
  2. Miss Attitude January 6, 2009 at 2:15 am #

    Now, who gave you the nap under your desk idea? BWAHAHAHAHA!
    And I love “It’s 11:11! Make a wish!” I haven’t heard anyone say that.. well since me in High School;)

    Reply
  3. Mrs. Chili January 6, 2009 at 4:57 am #

    YAY!! Welcome to my dysfunctional little bandwagon! Happy to have you aboard! Now I’m going to go add your fucking fabulousness to the Ten Things Tuesday page!!

    MWAH!

    Chili

    Reply
  4. Kat with a K January 6, 2009 at 5:20 am #

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    I also think you need to make an Altar to the Psycho Hose Beast for me to worship at!

    OMG, you *are* so fucking fabulous!!

    Reply
  5. saintseester January 6, 2009 at 6:03 am #

    I love number 8, that would crack me up if I saw it pop up on my computer every day.

    Reply
  6. PQNation January 6, 2009 at 6:14 am #

    Aaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahaha.

    Do it. All of it. I love you.

    Reply
  7. fgirl January 6, 2009 at 7:54 am #

    Bwahahahaha! Freakin hilarious!

    Reply
  8. perpstu January 6, 2009 at 8:50 am #

    You just reminded me to add the Magic 8 ball to my iPhone apps! I love this!

    XOXOXO

    Reply
  9. Tara R. January 6, 2009 at 11:36 am #

    I have to do everything on this list… it’s my new New Year’s resolutions. One day I did put caution tape across my office doorway and set out orange traffic cones to let my co-workers to back off. It worked beautifully.

    Reply
  10. Chris January 6, 2009 at 11:53 am #

    #6 sounds like a blast!

    Reply
  11. nunsense January 6, 2009 at 1:02 pm #

    I’m very fond of #7.
    Even I would do #7

    Reply
  12. Dingo January 6, 2009 at 4:13 pm #

    Oh my god, “I’ll get it!” has me cracking up!

    Reply
  13. MissRiss January 6, 2009 at 6:20 pm #

    Gah! You crack me up. On my list of 10 things: Be a fly on the wall to watch Cajun do all the things she has listed.

    Reply
  14. Lea January 7, 2009 at 1:52 pm #

    #3 – Prior to the days of iphones and such gadgets, a buddy of mine and I used to play hangman, tic-tac-toe, etc. during a particularly boring code review meeting we had to attend. It’s the only thing that kept us sane…and awake. So, I say go for it!

    #7 – I like it. I always wanted to fill someone’s car or cube with balloons. The shredded paper is even better. Less work for the perpatrator but harder for the victim to clean up. Nice.

    Love your blog.

    Reply
  15. Devyl January 8, 2009 at 12:49 am #

    *Feels a little silly admitting this after @MissAttitude’s comment, but …* We play the “make a wish” game all the time. C’s family got me into it, and I taught Tween, and we all shout it out whenever we see the time at the right setting!

    I love the nap under the desk idea – that is hilarious. One day soon I hope to have a desk to nap under!

    As always, this was fun to read!

    Reply
  16. Starrlight January 9, 2009 at 8:52 pm #

    I can tell you what would be at the top of my daughters list if she had access to her school’s PA. She wants to sing Three Point One Four by the Bloodhound Gang but just the end part with the falsetto vagina hootenanny.

    Aren’t you glad you don’t work at HER school?!

    Reply

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