I Read Banned Books

800 posts, bitches!

What would you like to see on I Read Banned Books next?  What will CajunVegan do?  Please leave all criticisms in the form of a compliment.

You’re traveling through another dimension — a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a psychotic land whose boundaries are that of paranoid schizophrenia. That’s a signpost up ahead: your next stop: the Such Forth Zone!

I have determined in my nine days at IDHMS 3.0 that my direct supervisor, the assistant principal also know as Such Forth, is fucking nuts.  Seriously, I think she is a schizophrenic psycho.  Yeah, yeah. I have seen her throw a different person under the bus each day, including the principal himself, when she was the one who failed to do something or conveniently forgot that someone else had done it instead of her.  She is a control freak and a know-it-all to boot.  Today I learned that I am definitely going to have to watch my back after she accused my partner of making fun of her (which he did not) right in front of me behind a closed door.  Later, she came into my office to get my opinion on the matter.  I had to tell her that I thought she was way off base for doing that in front of me.  Only time will tell if this will make her respect me or go after me next.

Sigh.  I miss being a part of a team.  That is all.

Do you even have to ask why I love working in a middle school?  There really is never a dull moment.

_

The pessimist finds fault;
The optimist discovers a remedy.

The pessimist seeks sympathy;
The optimist spreads cheer.

The pessimist criticizes circumstances;
The optimist changes conditions.

The pessimist complains about the apple seeds;
The optimist plants them.

The pessimist imagines impending peril;
The optimist sees signs of prosperity.

The pessimist disparages;
The optimist encourages.

The pessimist creates loneliness;
The optimist finds friends.

The pessimist nibbles at the negative;
The optimist is nourished by the positive.

The pessimist builds barriers;
The optimist removes roadblocks.

The pessimist invents trouble;
The optimist enriches the environment.

~ William Arthur Ward

Happy Chinese New Year!  It’s the Year of the Ox.  However, the psycho hose beast is a dog.  I was a tad bit curious and found the following via iVillage.   I’ve added my comments in red.

In the West (West siiiiiiiide), the dog is man’s best friend, but in Chinese astrology this sign is a little more unpredictable (expect the unexpected) than that. Dogs are loyal, faithful, and honest (Don’t ask me if you don’t want to know.) and always stick to their firm codes of ethics. (Worship me. The end.) However, this sign has trouble trusting others. (Do not throw me under the bus.) It’s generally quite trustworthy itself — except for the occasional little white lies the dog tells in order to make things go more smoothly. (I’m an expert at concealing the truth.) The dog makes a wonderful, discreet, and loyal friend (despite any white lies) and is an excellent listener. (Your lips keep moving but all I hear is blah blah blah.) This sign tends to root for the underdog (Arizona Cardinals FTW) and its keen sense of right and wrong (I’m always right.) makes it duty-bound to the core. The dog’s mantra seems to be:  live right, look out for the little people, and fight injustice whenever possible.  (Be the change.)

Dogs can also be rather dogmatic, too. They don’t go in for light social banter; instead, they go straight for home, expostulating on the topics that are most important to them. (It’s all about me.) At these times the dog’s narrow-minded or stubborn side can become apparent; (I’m not always right, but I’m never wrong.) this sign has trouble staying light and calm when an important issue is at stake. (Come closer so I can slap you.) This sign can also be very temperamental; mood swings characterize its emotional life (Next mood swing in 3.5 seconds.) and often the dog needs to run off to be alone in order to recuperate. (Uncle Sam wants you to leave me alone.) Part of the problem is the result of this sign’s load of irrational fears that turn into niggling anxieties that turn into hurt feelings and occasional grouchiness. (Who are you calling irrational?) This sensitive sign needs to warm up to others over time and gradually learn to trust them. Without that trust as a foundation, dogs can be judgmental and coarse. (This shit is boring.)

The Dog’s discerning nature does make it an excellent business person, one who can turn that picky, guarded nature into a keen sense of the truth of another’s motives. (Et tu, Brute?) Where love is concerned, dogs often have a tough time finding the right match. They can be so anxious and overwrought in the romance dance that they’ll stress their partner to the max! (Beware of the cast iron skillet!) In any forum, this sign is happiest when able to be quite physically active; at home or at work, the dog will always be constructing something new or cleaning something up in order to make things better. (I have CDO. It’s like OCD, but the letters are in alphabetical order like they should be.) Dogs need to work on controlling their irrational worries and would also be well-served to relax their mile-high standards, which can sometimes wind up alienating the ones they love.  (Me, perfect? No.  Better than you?  Of course.)

Overheard in my living room during Extreme Home Makeover tonight:

“Look at all those kids.  There ain’t nothin’ to do in Kansas but fuck.”

“You could write the whole plot on a postcard. We do the rest.”