Annual Terrorist Appraisal Report

13 Nov

The asshatfuckwitdouchebag FedEx man left the front gate open this afternoon.  The Terrorist took this as an opportunity to go for a run and escaped … at top speed.  His loyal owner, also known as Psycho Hose Beast, went on a twenty minute tour of run in two neighborhoods and across traffic on a major street nearly getting hitting by a Mini Cooper to finally get him to “JUST FUCKING STAY, YOU LITTLE SHIT!”  With the help of two ‘hood kids who thought he was “soooooooooooo cute” I was able to finally corner him on a one-way street, leash him up, and drag his panting, happy face ass home.  While we were walking home in complete silence and a very tense leash, I decided that this whole behavior infraction was worthy of a Thursday Thirteen-ish Terrorist Evaluation.

With that said, Spenser:

  1. Frequently makes poor decisions.
  2. Misunderstands others frequently.
  3. Could benefit from an obedience training refresher course.
  4. Has limited attention span for canines, needs to be expanded.
  5. Is sometimes difficult to understand because of human-canine language barriers.
  6. Needs to show more respect for owners and pack leader.
  7. Takes long breaks.
  8. Fails to take into account the impact on owners or stakeholders involved.
  9. Should take a decision-making seminar to develop skills.
  10. Consistently does not follow safety and security measures.
  11. Gives others a hard time.
  12. Treats others disrespectfully on occasion.
  13. Is not easily available or accessible.

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But, no matter what Spenser does, he has a face only a psycho hose beast Terrorist mother could love.

13 Responses to “Annual Terrorist Appraisal Report”

  1. Chris November 13, 2008 at 8:12 pm #

    Is he typical for Bostons? They’ve been high on my list of puppies since we lost our Dalmatian in 2007. Regardless they’re still the cutest!

    Reply
  2. topsurf November 13, 2008 at 8:36 pm #

    Awwwww…..but he really is so cute! :)

    Reply
  3. poppingbubbles November 13, 2008 at 9:16 pm #

    He understands you perfectly, he chooses not to listen! I’ve seen the sneakiness in those cute brown eyes!

    XOXOXO

    Reply
  4. Janet November 13, 2008 at 9:22 pm #

    stupid asshatfuckwitdouchebag FedEx man!!!

    Reply
  5. Kat with a K November 13, 2008 at 9:23 pm #

    Who could not love that face!!!!!

    Reply
  6. bronsont November 13, 2008 at 9:38 pm #

    I like your list of middle school student traits, but where is the terrorist list?

    Reply
  7. Ruprecht November 13, 2008 at 10:11 pm #

    Love it, love it …..

    Reply
  8. Tiny Tyrant November 13, 2008 at 10:12 pm #

    I disagree darling. We ALL love that face.

    And if you like I can send a description of a dominance exercise we do with Cliff, my half Terrorist (aka Boston) and half Traveling Salesman mix we have.

    Let me know.

    Reply
  9. randu November 13, 2008 at 10:13 pm #

    ughhh! that fedsmellyfartface delivery man! do you still remember his face?

    Reply
  10. Andrea Daigle November 13, 2008 at 11:27 pm #

    What an adorable face!! Classic list. Love it!!

    Reply
  11. Nicholas November 14, 2008 at 12:49 am #

    Cute dog!

    Reply
  12. Devyl November 14, 2008 at 12:52 am #

    *giggles* What a cute lil Terroristpup!!!

    Reply
  13. Miss Attitude November 14, 2008 at 6:51 am #

    Look at that cute little face! I think that TT 13 could easily apply to many adults, mostly men, I know. BWAHAHAHA

    Reply

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