I Read Banned Books

From the “What’s Your Name’s Hidden Meaning?” quizamajig with my special sauce added for CajunVegan originality.

1.  You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.

• I suppose saying “fuck you” would be unprofessional.

2.  You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.

• I’m not bossy.  I just have better ideas.

3.  A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

• Doctors say I have multiple personalities, but we don’t agree with that.

4.  You are usually the best at everything … you strive for perfection.

• To save time, let’s just assume that I am never wrong.

5.  You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

• I am fucking fabulous.  Worship me like the goddess I am.

6.  You have the classic “Type A” personality.

• I’m perfect in that fucked up way.

7.  You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you.

• I am your Queen.

8.  You never give up, and you will succeed… even if it takes you a hundred tries.

• Never, never, never give up.

9.  You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice.

• I’m sorry.  Was it my job to fill your life with joy today?

10.  You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.

• Hand over the chocolate, and no one will get hurt.

11.  And because you’re so lucky, you don’t really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.

• Attention, Stupid People:  Please talk with your mouth closed.

12.  You’re sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

• I’d love to help, but I’ve misplaced my tiara and wand.

13.  You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.

• My therapist thinks I’m too judgmental, but that’s because she’s an idiot.

14.  You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.

• Who says human misery isn’t a spectator sport?

15.  You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

• Don’t make me release the flying monkeys!

16.  You are very hyper. You never slow down, even when it’s killing you.

• Live every second as if your ass is on fire.

17.  You’re the type of person who can be a workaholic during the day… and still have the energy to party all night.

• Do I look like a motherfucking role model?

18.  Your energy is definitely a magnet for those around you. People are addicted to your vibe.

• What am I flypaper for freaks?

19.  You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.

• Multi-tasking is listening to you and pretending I’m interested.

20.  You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.

• I don’t have an attitude problem.  You have a perception problem.

21.  At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

• I was put on this planet to shop for new shoes and to consume massive amounts of chocolate products.

22.  You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life.

• I refuse to organize my life. It would interfere with the creative process.

23.  You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone.

• Please do not interrupt me when I am trying to ignore you.

24.  Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don’t appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.

• You think I’m sarcastic.  Watch me pretend to give a flying fuck.