My new administrative assistant is older than dirt. Seriously, she is so old that I am going to call her G’Ma Moses on this blog from now on. After only working with her for two days, it is also apparent that she is lazy, incompetent, and a tragic heroine. Her husband called in for her on Wednesday. She was in the hospital with a possible mini stroke. My new boss (now to be known as Red Headed Stepchild) informed me that this is G’Ma Moses’ MO. When the going gets tough, she gets sick or has a family emergency. Sigh, I was hoping she would be the Karen Walker to my Grace Adler, but in reality we all know that I am the one who channels Karen Walker. With that said, this week’s Thursday Thirteen is comprised of 13 snarkilicious Karen Walker quotes.
1. Speaking of things you scrape off your shoe, get out of here!
2. Oh, I am full. I cannot drink another bite.
3. Oh honey, I would, but… I don’t want to.
4. You say potato, I say vodka.
5. [looking into a mirror] Hello Starshine.
6. By your inflection I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but… No.
7. No. It’s all a lie. I’m not who you think I am. I;m not good or real. I’m evil and imaginary. And I’m rich. Filthy rich!
8. Lordy, Lordy, Look at all the freaks!
9. What can I do? How can I help? What are we drinking?
10. Hey, hey, hey. Come on. I know what guilt is. It’s one of those touchy-feely words that people throw around that don’t really mean anything… You know, like “maternal” or “addiction.”
11. Shut up, Lucky Charms!
12. I’m a lady, assface!
13. Gosh, I don’t think that I’ve ever been stressed out. Why would I be? I’ve got practically no responsibilities, my job’s a breeze and I’ve got a KILLER rack. Good morning.
I miss Karen Walker so much! She was my favorite snarky beyotch and would have fit right in with the Trifecta!
I can’t wait to hear more about G’Ma Moses and Red Headed Stepchild as the school year rolls along!
Ruprecht confess he knows naught of this Karen Walker.
And he didn’t find any of her quotes humorous in the least …..
…. ’til he got to #9.
Then – and only then – was he mildly amused enough to want to borrow it and use it in the correct context.
It only goes to show you: Not everyone gets his trigger tripped by someone else’s channeling entities.
But … that’s a’ight. Not everyone likes malted milk as much as Rupe does, either.
…………………………………………….. Trigger Trippin’ Rupe
is #6 directed towards me fucker? lol nice post
Nice Site layout for your blog. I am looking forward to reading more from you.
Tom Humes
I think Karen was hilarious. She got some REALLY good lines. Too bad about G’ma Moses.
Although Karen was pretty funny, her voice got on my nerves. It sounds like GM does have at least one thing in common with Karen. From the handful of episodes I saw of “Will and Grace” that had scenes at Grace’s office, Karen appeared to be lazy as hell.
Great choice for TT!!! I am asking you a favor, hope you can vote for me…. I was nominated for pinoyworld blog of the week, voting poll located at my sidebar… Thanks a lot! Happy TT!
Ha ha ha…that is hilarious. Sometimes I miss Karen Walker.
Thanks Karen, I mean Cajunvegan. I could use a little number 9 action in my life right now.
And when I’m feeling snarkier, number 3 may just work at work;)
#8 will do me fine when I walk into the building on Monday. Then after I settle into another year working with idiots #3 will just have to get me through the year!
Ha! I *love* her–she and Jack made that show worth watching for me. As someone who makes a huge-freakin-deal of banned books every year in her classroom, I salute you. Also, of course, making a big-freakin-deal of READING is always a good thing.
Sigh. I love Karen Walker. She the only thing that kept me tuning into that show long after it jumped the shark. I think #2 and #3 are going to be my mantras for the rest of the year.
I really miss that show, as everyone else has said. I wish they would do a spin-off with Karen and Jack. That would get great ratings!
What great zingers! I’ll have to remember some of them when I’m confronted by people TSTL. I think we all need a Karen Walker in our lives.
Nice post. You’re definitely more Karen Walker than Grace Adler, but with a better rack.
I love Karen, my favorite quotes are #s 2, 3 & 8. I need a Karen in my life, want to come to Seattle and I’ll be your Will? Happy TT
I love #3
Hmmm… lazy admin…. lots of garbage in your office – I think it’s a conspiracy. Maybe your predecessor used the handcuffs on the admin?
Number 4. Must adopt number 4.
BRAHAHA!! Great post. Karen is the shit. Wish that show was still on.
Now if I could only say #3 to my kids all day I could then start quoting #13.
Love her. Best though, was when she would call Will “Wilma” — for some reason, that killed me every. single. time.
@ poppingbubbles – I pretty jazzed about the names.
@ Ruprecht – Did you not watch Will & Grace? Shame on you. Catch the repeats on Lifetime. I know you watch Lifetime.
@ Godfather – Did you call me fucker? LOL
@ Tom Humes – I like repeat visitors and commenters.
@ zenmomma – I will be sharing more about G’ma Moses — she’s a drama queen.
@ Malcolm – Bingo.
@ prettylifeonline – Visit me for me, please.
@ Rasmenia – Lifetime.
@ Miss Attitude and @Topsurf – I have said #8 at work.
@ Jennie – Rock on.
@ Dingo – I am totally using #8 on Wednesday when the teachers come back.
@ Mel – Too much time has passed.
@ Lori – I am being the Karen Walker in my life.
@ fandpinlv – Thanks, I think.
@ Chris – I’d be honored. Squeeee!
@ Janet – I’m going to try that one out this week.
@ Claudia – My new administration is not lazy. The support staff is lazy.
@ liprap – Vodka is a staple in my diet.
@ Robin – It is still on Lifetime.
@ Citizenjaney – Promise me that you will never ever call your Will Wilma. LOL