Terrorist Tactical Maneuvers (TT 54)
17 Jul
The Terrorist, here. w00t! I hijacked Momma’s laptop while she is making sweet love to her iPhone! Do you remember the last time I was here? Well, she’s been much more careful about letting me around her gadgets ever since. I have had to resort to other ways to get her attention. Anyway, if you have not heard it yet, they are kenneling me later today for fun in Saint Delicious, and I am not happy about it. In fact, I think I am going to use every Terrorist Tactic I can think of to make them stay here or take me with them.
1. Carrying her unmentionables into the yard when I go do business
2. Biting her on the left check of her ass to match the right one I did earlier this week
3. Chewing up another pair of her “special occasion” shoes
4. Eating two-thirds of another ten or twenty dollar bill when it falls out of her wallet
5. Bringing in rocks from the yard to add to my collection
6. Hiding carrots (or broccoli) under her side of the bed and dragging them out in the middle of the night
7. Ripping her bath sponge to shreds when she doesn’t put it up high to dry
8. Tearing up the new red pillows on the sofa (since she slip covered the project I already started on the sofa cushions)
9. Unrolling and shredding that Charmin Mega Roll she just added in the master bathroom
10. Breaking down all the baby gates and licking The Three Beotches for days on end.
11. Jumping in the bathtub with her when she is relaxing … I love the bubbles!
12. Posting all her dirty little secrets on next week’s Thursday Thirteen, especially the one about how she and Daddy met in 1996
13. Burying that new iToy of hers. Geezy Pete, put that thing down!
I gotta go now. I just heard her say she was going to bed. It’s snuggle buddy time. I’ll make her never want to leave me. She cannot resist The Terrorist Trifecta!
Until next time …
Slurps, Smooches, and Snuggles,
Spenser (The Terrorist)
Bwhahahahahahhahaha
Psst. Hey T-man. This is Missy – Fear and Parenting’s nemesis. I can puke at will and it never lands on the tile. All rug baby, all the time. You know my secret. The kids. Never snap at the kids, man. Let them pull your hair, yank your tail. Just suck it up. The big humans think it’s cute. They can’t get rid of you. It would make the little humans cry. That’s it baby. I’ve heard you’ve got a stinky mid-size model under your roof. I suggest you start cleaning him up. Yep, pinch your nose and get lickin’. You’ll be so money.
Uh, you have $10s & $20s falling from your wallet? I’m impressed!
Great list here for TT! Mine’s up too hope you can drop by. Happy TT!
Um…about my offer to pooch sit? Yeah, I’m gonna have to take that back, we’re..busy, yeah busy!
I luvs me some Spenser fun!
Can actually appreciate this… only because DammitDog and DaisyDamYou both have the same sort of attitude from time to time.
Never a dull moment with the Terrorist, I see. And I thought The Kiddo was active
awww you just made me sad about having to delete my dog’s website, coz i got hacked… you are so cute! i want a boston terrier bad… happy TT!
Did he really jump in the tub with you? That’s hilarious. Mine won’t even come into the bathroom when the water is running.
I thought nothing would top the Monkey Boy but the Terrorist certainly is giving him a run for the money!
Best TT ever!
The bath move has to be fun! My cat did that….once.
Whoa, you do in fact have a master terrorist on your hands!
Great post, I miss having a dog so much sometimes. Happy TT. The Terrorist is a Boston? That’s the next breed I think I want…
The Terrorist responds:
@ Just Jen ~ Do I amuse you?
@ fandpinlv ~ The Three Beotches do all the puking, pissing, and pooping on the carpet in this house.
@ Miss Riss ~ Just when she’s been out entertaining
@ prettylifeonline ~ Um, I’ll try when she’s in the bathroom.
@ perpstu ~ I want to stay here and sleep in CV’s bed. Period.
@ Jared ~ I love big dawgs! They give the best slurps.
@ Citizen Jane ~ I am here for their entertainment.
@ Elaine ~ I have a MySpace and a Dogster page.
@ Greyfriend ~ I only jump in the tub when it has lots and lots of bubbles.
@ topsurf ~ I smell like roses compared to that stinky MB.
@ saintseester ~ Come here and let me lick you!
@ Starrlight ~ The Three Beotches only piss in the tub.
@ Robin ~ I am the master of manipulation.
@ Chris ~ You should get a Boston just like me; we are the bestest.
Who are The Three Beotches?
God… he’s so cute though. Rosie doesn’t do most of that stuff – we firmly believe that a tired dog is a good dog, so she gets runs in the park. For me? it’s socks, handkerchiefs, towels, gloves, not underwear, in the backyard.
How are you cv? I have a niggley worry about you. ((hug)) in case needed.
You are so freakin’ funny! You almost make me want to do TT, but definitely remind me I’m glad I don’t have a pet.
Too funny…and too cute! Enjoy your weekend! Will miss your blogs.
The Terrorist responds:
@ Janet ~ They are my cat sisters.
@ Claudia ~ CV is fine. She’s kind of happy this week for a change.
@ Miss Attitude ~ CV is funny when she is being manipulated by the fur kids.
@ Mel ~ She has guest bloggers for Friday – Sunday. Check em out.