I Read Banned Books

I often profess to know everything, but today my superior intellect was not completely visible.  I rarely admit I am wrong; therefore, this is going to be one of those red-letter days on I Read Banned Books.  Grab some popcorn.  Get comfortable.

Boog woke me around five o’clock this morning when he came home from work to point out that I probably should get up and go to get in line for the iPhone at the nearby AT & T store.  He noted that there were 10 people already in line.  I rolled over and attempted to go back to sleep because in my mind I was thinking that I would get one no matter what time I went.  After another hour of tossing and turning, I got out of bed and started surfing the web and plurking about going out in a bit to get my phone.  Real world and virtual friends were talking about all the iTards, and I even chuckled that I was an iTard, too.  Hell, I wanted one last June but decided to wait until the hype and price went down and for improvements to be made.  I have worked myself up for the last couple of months for today.  I was getting an iPhone one way or another. By doing so, I totally set myself up to be sore, sour, and sullen for the rest of the day (and possibly the next week or more). I should have known better. I was not raised to put my wants ahead of my needs.

I set out about 8:15 this morning to go to the closest AT & T store to purchase the coveted iPhone.  I stopped on the way to grab a coffee at the other place I covet.  As I drove around the corner, sucking up the venti Iced Quad Shot of goodness, I saw the line.  There had to be at least 200 people in it.  I parked Ruby.  I contemplated leaving her and standing in said line, but then I had a better idea.  I would go to the next closest one since it is very new and a little out of the way.  As I drove over to AT & T store #2, I thought:  if the line is half the other store’s (about 100), I’ll jump in it.  As I rounded the corner again, I saw that the line was equal to or greater that of the first store’s.  Then the insanity really took over.  I decided to go to a third AT & T store near In Da Hood Middle School because “it always looks like a ghost town when I drive by there in the late afternoon.”  As I rounded the corner, I was met with disappointment a third time.  The store had been converted to a My Wireless store and was “an authorized AT & T dealer.” It was not open until 10 AM.  Since there was no line forming, I knew that they were not going to be selling any iPhones.

After adding my disgust to Plurk and Twitter, I lost my mind and drove to the Apple store at the Fashion Show Mall.  As it was before 10 AM, I got a great parking spot in a section of the garage near the exact corridor in which the Apple store was located.  I walked in and mumbled to myself that I would wait in the line if it was no more than 100 people.  Not surprisingly, the line was 250 people minimum and was queued down a service hallway.  Everyone was patient and energetic, and one guy said he had only been waiting for three hours but was still about 100 people away from the door.  There were easily another 25 people in line inside the store.  I decided it was foolish for me to wait, walked out to the garage, and opted to head home.

As soon as I got in the car, I pointed Ruby in the direction of the second Apple store at the new Town Square.  The voices began to argue in my head:

“You should go home and go back to sleep.  Your Treo is just PMSing, and you do not need an iPhone.”

“Yeah, I don’t need it.  I want it, and I am going to have it today … with Bluetooth on top.”

“You should wait for another day.  They’ll have plenty.”

“You should go find another AT & T store in this neighborhood and check there. They are bound to have one somewhere in this town.”

“You are a spoiled brat.”

“You are a slave to the man.”

“Nobody tells CajunVegan no!”

As I yelled for the voices to shut the fuck up and let me think, I saw the queue of all queues winding about Town Square.  I shit you not when I tell you that there were between 400 and 500 people waiting outside in near 100 degree and rising heat.  In my best Cartman voice, I literally rolled down the window and yelled at the employee handing out bottles of water, “Screw you guys!  I’m going home!”  And, then a light shone, and another voice spoke to me in a sing-songy Madonnaish way,  “You are living in a material world, and you are a material girl.  You know that you are living in a material world, and you are a material girl.”

All I could think was, you know I am acting very selfishly, and this hunt is utterly ridiculous.  I should go straight home.  That was my intention anyway.  I drove back by the first AT & T store one more time, telling myself “just in case.”  My heart skipped a beat when I saw only seven people standing in line outside the store.  I threw the car into park, grabbed my purse, and got in line.  I asked the guy in front of me how long he had been waiting.  He said, “I just got here.”  A courtesy representative walked over to the two of us, and we were informed that this store was officially out of iPhones and that most of the stores in the Las Vegas Valley were sold out or close to being there.  He stated that they were taking orders and that the iPhones would be in store in another five days or so.  That is when it hit me, and I walked back to my car.  I crossed the line at prepaying for an electronic device that I may or may not be getting in another five days.  Besides, he could not say if there would be a nightmarish line for the pick-up day and could not guarantee that the phone would arrive in five days.

All along, I knew that I was going to walk out of the store today with an iPhone in hand.  While that did not happen, it will occur another day in the future when I just happen to walk in an Apple store or an AT & T store, and the iPhone just happens to be in stock that day.  In the meantime, I will be happy with my Treo, pain in the ass that she is lately.

As I edited this entry, I stopped briefly to check my Gmail account, and what I found as today’s quote of the day speaks volumes:

“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.”

~ Socrates

I suppose I do not know everything, and I am really an iTard after all.