This post marks the first in my second year as a weekly poster on Thursday Thirteen. Since I rarely talk about myself on this blog (rolling eyes at my haters and Boog), I thought you would like to hear more about how fucking fabulous I am. Please hold your applause, and humor me by reading about my 13 current obsessions. Sadly, there are more than 13; however, I am going into detail, so I don’t want to make this post TLDR.*
1. Promotion - Why worry when I can obsess? The last interview is still a possibility as no one has been appointed or moved to that position. I put my name in on five (5) new openings this week. Those who obsess get ahead in life.
2. Publication - As if I needed another obsession besides this blog and the Cult of Insanity, I want to see MY writing in print in bookstores everywhere no later than the end of 2011. That’s when I turn 40. I am writing more now than I ever did. Maybe if the right people see this blog, I’ll get discovered. Pimp me out, but don’t steal my shit.
3. Plurk - For the past few weeks, this little obsession is the first second thing I think about in the morning (Coffee is always the first.) and the last thing that crosses my mind at night. Obsessively, I wrote a song about Plurkin.’ Pathetically, I have been dreaming about Plurk and caught myself mlurking (mobile plurking) on the toilet in the movie theater on Sunday. Clearly, I am going to have to face it; I’m addicted to Plurk.
4. Photobucket - This obsession goes hand in hand with Plurk. I am constantly looking for original material, especially in the smiley realm. If I could only figure out the copy of Adobe Photoshop CS3 I stole illegally copied have the rights to own my home computer via the district’s license, I would bedazzle some of my own instead of obsessively searching for the latest and greatest visual for a smack down.
5. Google Reader - Until very recently, I had all my favorite blogs and daily guilty pleasure websites bookmarked in my sidebar, and I clicked away each and every day. On the recommendation of several real world and Twitter and Plurk friends, I decided to try Google Reader. I am affectionately and obsessively referring to GR as my lover now. I don’t know why I resisted for so long. I love all of the features (that I have figured out), and I want to start sharing some of my reads in the sidebar of this blog. That brings me to the next one.
6. WordPress - GRRRRRRRR! I am completed irritated and confused by certain aspects of WordPress, particularly plug-ins. As a perfectionist, I am too proud to ask for help. I am trying to set up multiple features on my template that I just cannot figure out. This one may only be frustration, but I am going to lose my religion trying to get it right. (Those of you who know my borderline agnosticism and loathe for Bible thumpers are giggling at that line.)
7. Clutter - I am obsessively organized. I bitch, moan, and complain about clutter constantly around the house and at work. Yet I do nothing to fix it except read self-help books and blogs. If I showed you a picture of my Monica’s secret closet right now, you would gasp audibly and say in your best Chandleresque voice: “He he he he … You’re messy … I married Fred Sanford.” On the other hand, I also believe that a clean desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, and I want my bookshelves to be color-coordinated and/or alphabetized.
8. Monkey Boy’s Stankonia - On the advice of my Pleeps, I will use duct tape, make him stand in The Terrorist’s wade pool in the backyard, use the HOSE HOSE HOSE, apply copious amounts of Lava Soap followed by “stink pretty” soap, and scrub him raw with a wire brush. How’s that for obsession? I decreed on Monday that he is subject to a daily inspection until further notice (August 11). I am considering watching him apply the anti-perspirant/deodorant he refuses to wear and sending in Boog for his twice or thrice daily shower detail. And speaking of the love of my life, let’s move on to Boog.
9. Boog’s snoring - I have no room to talk because I snore “when I am congested,” but here goes. I harbor a secret, vengeful, obsessive desire to smother him with his pillow while he sleeps. Yes, I’ve tried to obligatory pillow over my own head, poking and kicking him with “turn over, Boog,” and wearing the neon foam earplugs. We recently purchased his and hers humidifiers for our nightstands. We take turns sleeping on the couch when we really need the rest. Boog even had a septoplasty less than a year ago. I am getting desperate at this point which is why I say it has become an obsession. Do you think a Snore Pillow purchase is wishful thinking? P.S. And when he isn’t snoring, he’s twitching and talking about World of Warcraft in his sleep.
10. Craig Ferguson - He’s been making me laugh out loud forever, but he keeps me company from 12:35 AM until 1:35 AM weeknights. He should really “Cut that out!” because I want to sleep in and have to deal with Boog’s snoring. He addresses himself as “TV’s Craig Ferguson.” Are you sure he isn’t on Plurk?
11. Tattoo - I am getting inked sooner than later. No, I won’t tell you what, where, when, or who. It will be custom, and I don’t want anyone thieving my idea. It will be my first (and possibly only), so I want to keep it a big ass secret as long as I can. The only difference between tattooed and non-tattooed people is that tattooed people are way more cool and can kick your ass.
12. Smoothies - Can you believe that it is near impossible to get a snow cone in Las Vegas? Well, it is. That is when Boog and I say: “It’s smoothie time!” Don’t confuse Smoothie Time with Business Time, but it runs a close second when it is eleventy billion degrees in July and August. Besides, Tropical Smoothie has happy hour twofers on weekdays from 4-6 PM. Oh, yeah, we love the Jamba and the King too.
13. iPhone - The real question is: Should I camp out or not? It is mine tomorrow!
The sun’ll come out
Tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on
‘Til tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
I love ya Tomorrow!
You’re always
A day
A way!
As far as you are concerned, readers, love me or hate me; it’s still an obsession. Leave me some loving in the comment box. How’s that for obsessive?
*Too Long Didn’t Read is a Boogism. Did you finish ALL of it? That would make you a little obsessive.
Is the coach cute? Can I sleep on him too?
ok well to add to your obsession, here’s some comments on your blog.
1. I am as obsessed about my g-reader too. It’s like receiving a lot of presents every morning.
2. Same feelings on Plurk too, completely obsessed and I have to admit, how I found out I was obsessed was by one morning I actually plurked before my coffee!
3. I enjoy your reading your blog it everyday brings a smile to my face and makes me laugh out loud!
Now go get that MB CLEANED UP!
I obsess over clutter, too, but am unable to really make myself conquer it. I’m thinking I might have to go cold turkey on the plurkey. I really am wasting too much time there.
I share your #3,4,5,6,11,12 & 13 obsessions. When you are ready for #11, let me know. I’m always up for new ink and yes I do think it makes you cooler!
@ Jen ~ Smart ass.
@ topsurf ~ I have to clear them out. It drives me nuts to be over 50. I’m thinking about organizing them into daily and weekly reads because it is overwhelming at times.
@ Saintseester ~ I know, for a fact, that my Plurk time will be cut in half or more when July is over.
@ Perpstu ~ Would you go all the way to Miami to get one?
Great list, I love GReader, it makes my life so much easier. If you’re using firefox get the better Greader plugin it makes it easier to comment on blogs without having to leave the reader itself. Happy TT
My “other” blog is WordPress driven and I’ve got some pretty groovy plugins on it. If you want to ask a question or two, I don’t mind trying to help out. I can’t guarantee I’ll know the answer, but I’ll try. LOL How’s the iPhone, btw?
I ALWAYS read - “too long” doesn’t exist in English Teacher World.
Don’t bother camping out; you’ll be able to get a new phone whenever you want. The new ones aren’t as highly coveted as the premier of the things were, and I doubt there’ll be blocks-long waiting lines or immediate sell-outs like there were last year around this time. I do love my iPhone, though; I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.
why don’t you just sleep in separate rooms? I never understood the thing that says married couples have to sleep TOGETHER.
Don’t confuse Smoothie Time with Hammer Time, either
I’m going to see Craig this September in Boston. I hope.
Yep, Google reader is a lifesaver — and an eternal tormentor. I’m sort of not looking forward to going away, just because I know what’ll be waiting when I get back…
@ Chris ~ Thanks for the geekdorknerd advice. I did not know that as a n00B to the GR.
@ Not Afraid to Use It ~ The iPhone will not be mine until tomorrow.
@ Mrs. Chili ~ I can count the times I have camped out for something. I just don’t want to be disappointed if I should up at noon, and they are out.
@ Janet ~ We really don’t sleep much together anyway except in the summer when I am off. He works 8P-4A. My schedule is off with break and we overlap by about 4-5 hours now. I need to give up Craig to the DVR and go to bed earlier.
@ Susan ~ It’s nuts how I could ignore my blogs before GR, now I have to clear out them out by reading them all.
You are incredibly sarcastically funny…I bet you are a Virgo or a Scorpio. Shhhhh, but I’m obsessed with knowing every one’s zodiac sign. Weird.
I too have a serious obsession with blogging. Somehow, I will have to add you to my daily feed because you are too funny…”Pimp me out, but don’t steal my shit.” Hilarious! lol
I don’t know what “Plurk” is but I intend to google it as soon as I leave this message.
Since I can’t be peppy? I’M GOING TO BE REALLY LOUD SO YOU WON’T KNOW I’M PEPPY!!
I love most of what you love - and sympathize with you and the snore factor - sorry. If it’s not D it’s the dog. Sigh. But a warm bed and a soft heart make up for it.
OH CRAP THAT WAS PEPPY.
(slinks away for a better idea)
Right now my topmost obsession is killing mosquitoes and other insect creatures. Then plurk. Then getting rid of mushrooms from my backyard. I’m obsessive about a lot of things, but they can’t be compared to the aforementioned three ATM.
Great list, my 33rd TT is up at 13 Muslim Greeting Cards - I noted the paucity of Islamic Greeting Cards at my local stationery store and so as a public service to Muslims in America, I offer the following 13 Shariah-Compliant Greeting Cards…
@ Opinionated Diva ~ Believe it or not, I am an Aquarius. Plurk is my lover. You are in my GR now too.
@ Claudia ~ I was cranky earlier b/c everyone was signing in saying good morning. I hate that. Just jump right in and start talking. No niceties.
@ Yoonie ~ You may be a skeeter magnet. http://www.newsweek.com/id/144541
@ Bernie ~ Way to sell yourself … what about me?
The only person I think is more freakin’ fabulous than you is me.. hehe. I love reading about your obsessions, probably because I share several of them see 1, 2, 3 and 4. I refuse to jump on the iPhone bandwagon, though mostly because I don’t want AT&T! And I agree about tattoos. I got one more than 10 years ago and I’ve loved it ever since. I once dated a guy who told me he didn’t like tattoos after seeing mine. I proceeded to tell him it didn’t matter to me because the tattoo would be around a lot longer than him!
I big pink puffy heart my google reader. Helps me waste time MUCH more efficiently!
NO snow cones?! That’s a travesty! You must move back to the South now.