I Read Banned Books

My 15-year-old step-slave, Monkey Boy, arrives today.  While I may not go into Wicked Stepmonster mode for another week or so, I am thrilled to report that he is on the second leg of his first trip as an adult.  Well, he is an adult as far as United Airlines is concerned.  We are no longer paying unaccompanied minor fees when there are extra charges for luggage.  Thankfully, he is an intelligent kid with much more common sense that his mother, Shoeless Sue.  Besides, he’s been flying on his own for 11 years now, and we figured it was time to cut the cord.

He flew from Denver to Charleston to Jacksonville to visit with Boog’s brother’s family (Lt. BIL, SIL, and their four offspring) this past week and was treated to several trips to the beach, a few movies, and Busch Gardens.  The dirty little sunburned white boy is flying from Jacksonville to Chicago to Las Vegas this morning.  We are a little nervous about the O’Hare changeover because he only has about 30 minutes between flights.  He has been instructed to exit the plane, tell the first worker he sees to phone the gate to say that he is on his way, and book it.  He is to call us when he arrives and is boarding.  Yes, this is one of those instances when a teenager having a cell phone is a convenience.

Monkey Boy is the source of some most excellent blog fodder.  He amuses and annoys me to no end at times.   He does not know about I Read Banned Books, and I am keeping it that way until he has a wife (or husband) of his own.  At that time, the mortification with the blog posts and scrapbooks will surely commence.  In the meantime, I record things as I see them with little embellishment.  He is as stinky, smart ass, and socially inept as I describe him; however, he is also loving, soft-hearted, and one-of-a-kind.  See; I do love him.

New and old readers might appreciate a few older posts about this creature I love to the sky.  While I am not a Mommy Blogger, I am a Wicked Stepmonster in the snarkiest sense of the word.  I have listed the titles for a few posts I love along with a snippet from each.  Please visit them and feel free to comment as you will on this post.  Attention Whore Alert:  I expect a comment on today’s post.  Duh!  Whatever!  OMGWTFBBQ!  I’m practicing for the inevitable teengo (teenager lingo) that will surely follow.

On with the teasers:

From The Birds And the Bees Redux ~ “You know, rub one out? Play with yourself?”

From Phoebecakes ~ “Woohoo! Maybe he’s not a girly boy after all”

From Oh, No She Didn’t! ~ “I’m so gonna squeal like a pig …”

From Two Truths & A Lie #10 ~ “Why can’t I go to sleep in my clothes?”

From Monkey Boy’s Non-Breakfast ~ “But there were no Lucky Charms”

From You Talkin’ to Me? ~ “Stuffed animals are not to be dressed in clothing.”

Do you see what I mean?  No matter what monkeys and farts are always funny.