The Birds and the Bees Redux
8 Jan
In honor of Mumbler’s 15th birthday today, I am reposting one of my favorite entries from July 2006 featuring His Stinkiness himself (back then he was still our little Monkey Boy). Now that he has Phoebecakes, let us pray that he can keep us grandchildless ten years or more longer.
After the umpteenth conversation we have had with Mumbler about personal hygiene, an interesting tangent was ridden on by Boog for a few minutes. I’ll pick up midway. Honestly, I participated in parts of it as well, but this section was more interesting to review with you, kind readers.
M: I took sex ed in school this year.
B: Do you have any questions that weren’t answered?
M: No, I’m not doing that. It’s gross.
A few other vague yet clinical comments about what he learned in the class and from his mom and stepdad were supplied by M. Then, B asked the unthinkable in front of M’s stepmom.
B: Do you masturbate?
M: What’s that?
B: You know, rub one out? Play with yourself?
M: (Dead silence)
B: So, are you noticing girls? Do you like the way they smell?
M: (Mumbles something incoherent)
B: So, are you noticing boys? If you are, that’s okay too.
M: No way!(Followed by more uncomfortable silence)
B: You know you can talk to us about anything anytime. Sex is nothing to be ashamed of. Everybody does it at some point. “Cajunvegan” and I do; your mom and stepdad do.
M: Ohmygod!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Then the crying ensued.)
Should we be thankful or concerned that he’s still a little boy?
Tags: almost comedy central, blog 365 '08, fish and relatives, freaks and geeks, TMI
That is SO how I hope the conversation will go when I have to have it with my daughter. TOO funny!
Heh. Reminds me of my Viagra story with Punkin’ Pie…
My youngest daughter 17 is still grossed out by the thought of her parents having sex. Nothing gets her down stairs and out of the way faster a off colour comment about slipping up stairs for a quickie.
Its way to handy as parent we must be careful not to abuse this one power granted to us by the gods
Oh, it’s not just young folks who don’t like to think their parents do it. Just ask my sister about the conversation we had yesterday
@ Tense: I really cannot make some of this stuff up.
@ Chili: Is that one in your archives?
@ Between the ticks: Abuse, no, but I agree that it is fun to embarrass.
@ Natalie: Was it one of those “Oh my ears!” kind of things?
This is how I like to think of the Mumbler! Back when he was a silly, easily embarrassed kid. I can’t believe he’s practically old enough to drive himself around let alone with a Phoebecakes in the car! Well, at least his hygiene haas improved!
@ kdw: I never said that his hygiene had improved.
Oh that conversation made my ears hurt.
OMG! LMFAO! Not sure I’m ready to be a mother or stepmonster anytime soon!
Grateful! I hope you enjoyed it while it lasted
OMG! LMFAO! Not sure I’m ready to be a mother or stepmonster anytime soon!