I have new readers since joining the Cult of Insanity otherwise known as Blog 365 (I am trademarking that; credit me if you use it.). Although I am not really here for your entertainment, my new 13 plus friends and other lurkers might be a little confused with some of the aliases used in this so-called blog o’mine.
Step right up and Looka! the Freak Show without a Tent (labeled “Fish and Relatives” in my previous posts but now will be known as “Freaks and Geeks”):
1. Cajunvegan (Duh, that’s me.)
I am a certified Cajun from the Louisiana’s Prairie Cajun Capital, who migrated to Sin City in 1996. That makes me a Vegan (vay-gun not vee-gun). Did you really think a Coonass would ever give up meat, pork, poultry, and seafood except during Lent? Ludicrous! I sometimes go by Fonky too.
2. Boog (Simplified for ‘08 from Booger Bear)
He’s my husband and best friend; we have been committed for 12 years (married for almost 8 of them). He hates people and is a geek for life. If he does not stop snoring soon, I will be forced to smother him with a pillow and bury him in the desert.
3. Monkey Boy (Seriously considering changing his name to Mumbler!)
He is my 15-year-old stepson; he lives with his mom and stepdad in a David Koresh’s secret compound in Colorado. He looks and smells like a homeless person but doesn’t fling his poo. Thankfully, he is not a wannabe anything. Praise Jebus, he now has a girlfriend. I pray that I am not made a G’ma until he is at least 25.
4. The Terrorist (Spenser for Hire)
I am obsessed with my four-year-old Boston Terrier. He’s a people too. He kisses on the lips, sleeps in the bed, and is smarter than your honor student. He was a one-time contributor on I Read Banned Books and wants to come back if you will have him.
5. Xoralundra (Queen of Fucking Everything; Beotch #1 )
She’s a Maine Coon, and the oldest of the furchildren. She allows us to live in her house. Be at my beck and call is her life existence. This entails keeping her away from everyone and everything, feeding her, cleaning her litter box, and petting and grooming her only when she commands you to do so. She’s Boog’s cat through and through.
6. Pekoe (Pissing Queen; Beotch #2)
She’s the middle furchild and the black sheep of the family. She suffers from separation anxiety, paranoia, OCD, and multiple personality disorder. To prove to us how crazy she really is, she whines constantly and pees on the carpet. I purchase Nature’s Miracle by the gallon because of this neurotic, psychotic feline freak.
7. Kittle (Cross-Eyed Princess; Beotch #3)
She’s the youngest furchild and the prettiest except you never know which eye to look at when talking to her. She is an attention whore. We adopted this skittish Persian/Siamese mix beauty when her previous owner declared that she did not match his other cat. She fits right in with the other freaks here.
8. Flea Fly (My younger sister)
She’s a single mom, a paramedic, and my other best friend. She is also a tall drink of water and a skinny bitch. She looks like a supermodel, seriously close to Brooke Shields meets Angelina Jolie. I swear she has the metabolism of a hummingbird. If I could get a fraction of her energy, strength, and perseverance, I would be a superwoman.
9. Bullhead (My 4-year-old nephew)
He’s Flea Fly’s stubborn wild child. He’s a little giant, towering 10-12 inches over most kids his age. He is obsessed with Thomas the Train and Shrek. I bet that means he’ll be a butt man someday.
10. Sybil (My momma)
Where do I begin? Sweet Jebus, grant me the strength to accept the multiple personalities of the original psycho hose beast, the courage to not have her committed, and the wisdom to go to therapy every week for the rest of my life. I swear that she was the inspiration for the book and movie of the same name.
11. Sanford (My daddy)
He is Grumpy Old Man … will change that in previous posts. He is 69 and was a heavy equipment mechanic retiree for about 9 years. He just returned to the work force because he was bored and tired of hoarding (collecting anything and everything like Fred Sanford), fishing, hunting, gardening, gambling, and being my momma’s bitch.
12. Sistah CJ (My mother-in-law)
Yes, she’s a nun. That makes Boog a “son of a nun.” She’s 32 flavors and then some.
13. Devil Wears Purple (My fucktacular boss)
She’s like my momma. I never know who I am going to talk to, but she will always be wearing purple. She claims to be my greatest supporter but has thrown me under the bus and made me feel like a piece of shit more than once. She has a dark side; hence, I have the Darth Vadar theme set as her ringtone on my cell phone.
These are my peeps … the reasons I drink … the Freaks and Geeks. Dude, I so miss that show … brilliant but canceled.
All caught up? Y’all come back now! Ya’ hear?
Thanks for the explanation. As my grandmother always used to say “you can’t keep track of the players without a scorecard”. I think she was referring to the boys I was dating, but we won’t go there…
I’m glad I visited you, for 2008, I’ll come more often that just TT@@@
Happy New Year!!!!
A very cool theme — and you have quite the cast of characters in your life
Happy TT & an even happier 2008!
Yup, League City is just down the street from where I live now. Small world, huh? I’m glad you explained that cajunvegan thing. A vegetarian cajun? Hmmm. That would have been strange. Otherwise, your freaks sound a lot like my freaks!
It sounds like you live in either a sitcom or a soap opera. I guess it depends on how much you’re laughing…
Thanks for the learnin’. I’m all caught up now. Plus a new vocab word : fucktacular!
LMAO! I think this was the funniest T13 this week! #9 cracked me up
Thanks for visiting!
Where ya’at, cher?
After seeing your name, I’m trying to imagine a vee-gan cajun eating boudin rouge! But dat ain’t no problem for a Vegan cajun, living in the OTHER sin city, huh?
Enjoy it, dawlin’.
Frank (New Orleans born and raised, now living in the Seattle area. Does that make me a granolacajun?)
OMG! I nearly wet my pants this post was so funny
Sweet Jebus, Nature’s miracle should be handed out at the end of this post!
Best TT today hands down
It’s always cool to find a new blog to read. That’s one benefit I’ve found in the 365blog insanity. Usually I NEVER particpate in these things because well, I march to the beat of a rock n’ roll drummer.
Great Thursday Thirteen List. I haven’t done one of those in a long time.
Thanks for your comments on my blog. Very insightful!
Great TT! And I did think you were a vegan, not a Vegan
Thanks for visiting mine.
Linda
Wow, your MIL is a nun and you made an Ani reference in the same post. You might be the coolest new person I “know”.
P.S. I’m laughing because the word verification under my comment window says BFD. Exactly.
Great list, I love the descriptions of everyone..
Happy Thursday thirteen
What a cast of characters!
Aaah…while I do know all the characters in your play - some only by the tales - I do love the new descriptions! If FF and Bullhead ever trek this way again, you better drag their tall, skinny hot bods out our way for another super duper round o’ fun!
Happy New Year! 3 posts down, 362 to go! Whoo-hoo!
@ Robin and No nonsense girl - I aim to kill … I mean, please.
@ d pop tart - Thanks! I’m kewl like that.
@ forgetfulone - After all, it is.
@ mom huebert - Some of my freaks would say that I am the one with issues.
@ zen momma - Sybil would wash my mouth out with Lava soap for using fucktacular.
@ Janet - I looked at it again after reading your comment, and it cracked me up too.
@ Frank - You’re welcome, shug! If you wanna be a granolacajun, go for it.
@ Sandy C - Wow! Best TT? Under pressure … Mm ba ba de Um bum ba de Um bu bu bum da de. Thanks!
@ Lisa - I usually don’t either, but since 13 is an odd number and I, too, am often the odd girl out, I couldn’t resist picking up something to do on Thursdays. Thanks for visiting.
@ Linda - No harm, no foul … ignore the dumbass part in my “about me” section.
@ Melissa - Now, I am Under Pressure, again. See above. Thank you so much. Check out her blog too. She’s a most excellent writer.
@ Between the ticks - Thank you for stopping by here and on 365.
@ Nicholas - They will be fodder for this insanity I have committed to do.
@ kdw - His 5T pants are TOO small. Maybe I should be calling him Beanpole.
You said, “psycho hose beast.” For this, and MANY other reasons in this post, I officially love you. Soon, I will kidnap you and you will live in my pocket where I can stroke you and love on you at will.
What?
Also? Your comments section and “post a comment” link are VERY hard to read in that color scheme - My eyes almost fell out while trying to get here to leave this message.
That means I really wanted to leave it, cause I persevered.
Great descriptions, wish I had characters that diverse and f–in’ freaky in my novel.
Hey, try those new earplugs for the snoring. They work ok if you fall asleep first -
Loved this post and especially the cat. I’ve just joined 365 and am already wondering what the hell I was on.
I’m glad you explained the vegan/vegan think. I couldn’t process a vegan Cajun.
thanks for visiting ours…
@ Sarcastic Mom ~ Comments like that are like crack for me. Feed the addiction.
@ Lisa ~ What earplugs? Please don’t tell me they are the foamy ones. Do.not.work.
@ Damozel ~ I’m surprised how many people think that when they see my alter ego. Muahahahahahahaha!
Interesting list, it’ll come in handy while reading your blog!
Thanks for visiting my TT; sorry I’m this late in returning the favour!
@ Tink ~ a visitor is a visitor is a visitor. I don’t mind when you stop by as long as you leave me some comment love. Thanks!
This is a great idea…I probably should clarify some of my references for the newbies…
[...] I typed this post, three major casinos suffered power outages on the Las Vegas Strip, and Xoralundra lost all of her hair in a freak [...]
[...] for the world to enjoy. In celebration of Father’s Day, I would to give you a few words from Sanford’s vocabulary. [...]