I Read Banned Books

Swearing on the job can reduce stress and boost employee morale, a British study has found.

NPR reported on the same British journal study on Friday:

Profanity in the workplace is a good thing. It can boost team spirit — at least, in all-male settings such as locker rooms. But women cussing is another story. The study says females who swear are often perceived to be of “low moral standing.”

I suppose this means that I will have to return to the practice of flipping students, teachers, support staff, and parents off from behind and underneath my desk.

I have a new “special” to introduce. Let’s call her “Diddy” (in honor of DID). Although I am not a psychiatrist, I play one in the Blogiverse. I am confident that this computer teacher is as close to Sybil as my own mother. Yes, I said teacher. Yesterday, she called a student of hers “a lazy fat ass” in front of the class. He walked out, slammed her door, and ran across the hall to immediately report it to me. After school as I am directing bus traffic, she stomped across the school, stopped me in the middle of the parking lot, and screamed in front of about 25 students as she continued to harass me after I told her to speak to her direct supervisor: “You damn will get me some fucking help to deal with all those awful students in my six period class. The fat one nearly broke a table today. Yes, I told him he was fat because he is.” Thirty minutes later she was apologizing and saying she could not have said any of those things because “that is not me … I didn’t say that.”

I feel an investigatory conference and a possible fit for duty test coming on. Did I mention she is a probationary and can be immediately dismissed without cause for gross insubordination or any other infraction? I feel the following conversation coming on shortly: “Buh-bye, Diddy, the administration regrets to inform you that we are not renewing your “fucking” contract. Take a bottle of Zoloft and step away from the children. Don’t call us, and we won’t call you.”

And you thought I only dealt with teenagers who made bad choices?

Fuck-a-doodle-doo! At least, tomorrow is another fucktacular day!