- Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today. Procrastination isn’t the problem; it’s the solution.
- Never trouble another for what you can do yourself. So much to do so few people to do it for me.
- Never spend your money before you have it. There’s always free cheese in a mousetrap.
- Never buy what you do not want because it is cheap; it will never be dear to you. You can’t have everything; where would you put it?
- Pride costs us more than hunger, thirst, and cold. Volunteering doesn’t pay.
- Never repent of having eaten too little. I want it all, and I want it covered in chocolate.
- Nothing is troublesome that we do willingly. Ignorance is nine-tenths of the law.
- Don’t let the evils which have never happened cost you pain. Paranoia is the best defense.
- Always take things by their smooth handle. A little pain never hurt anyone.
- When angry, count to ten before you speak; if very angry, count to one hundred. Peace is for sissies.
Attributed to: Thomas Jefferson
Twisted by: Cajunvegan
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Awesome twist job on that list, cajun. I like it!