I Read Banned Books

This is my ride. I acquired it three years old three years ago after I totaled my previous ride — a PAID FOR Craprolet. At the time of this purchase, I tried to sway Booger Bear into putting the money on a new car instead, but “we” (”he”) decided that continuing to have no car payment for another two or three years would be a plus. There was even the suggestion that I might be able to get a new car when I am promoted to AP. Since that is not happening as quickly as “we” (”I”) originally hoped it would, I am growing ever impatient with the non-maintenance repairs that are now keeping our savings account at a “zero” balance. Here are a list of repairs that have been made in the past six months on this 2002 Pontiac Grand Theft Piece of Shit:

1. Countless gallons of coolant and a new coolant tank (which I am positive the dealership was aware of when they sold the Grand POS to me): $80.00 - $300.00
2. New gas tank (because I chose to hit the piece of metal in the road instead of the car next to me): $1200.00
3. New head gasket and other needed engine repair crap (which I maintain is a waste of my hard earned money): $1700.00 quote NOT the final bill

These are the other things that are fucked up on my ride:

1. A-never-has-worked radio antenna allows me to hear certain FM stations and no AM stations. BB said he could fix this. Like Bone Thugs and Harmony, he “tried so hard,” but I am the one who “can’t get away from misery.”
2. The driver’s window does not roll down. BB said, and I quote, “It’s just the fuse” and tried to fix it himself. How’s that NOT working for me?
3. The paint on my back bumper is now scratched because BB made me push my car from behind with his truck down the street when it died on Cheyenne Avenue during morning rush hour traffic last week. By the way, NO ONE stopped to offer me any help while I waited for him for over 20 minutes.

The Blue Book value is depreciating as I type this entry. I could go on and on, but my head might explode. I WANT A NEW CAR, BOOGER BEAR! Can you hear me now? I know you read this blog, and I know where you live. Be careful; I might just smother you with your pillow in your sleep.