Archive | May, 2007

My Favorite Joke of All Time

27 May

One day these two fine southern ladies were sitting on the front porch having some iced sweet tea.

One of the women sticks out her hand for the other woman to see, and in her long southern drawl says, “Look at this ring my husband gave me. Isn’t it nice?”

To which the other woman replies, “Oh that’s nice, that’s real nice.”

The first woman then says, “And just last month he took me on one of them Caribbean cruises.”

The second woman again replies, “Oh that’s nice, that’s real nice.”

“Well, sweetheart, doesn’t your husband ever buy you nice things or send you nice places?”

“Oh,” the second woman responds, “When we first got married he did send me to etiquette school.”

“Why’d he do that?” the first woman asks.

To which the second fine southern woman replies, “Well you see, before, when someone told me about the jewelry their husband gave them, or the trips he sent her on, I would have just said fuck you, but now I say that’s nice, that’s real nice.”

I Had a Date Last Night …

4 May

… with Mr. Kenny Chesney himself. Yeah, it was Kenny, me, and thousands of screaming women, Cruzan Rum, and their panties. It was a school night, but how do you pass up “the good stuff”? Besides, I “think his tractor’s sexy.”

Betcha didn’t know I liked country music … didya?

More Later about Sybil and Grumpy Old Man

2 May