After the umpteenth conversation we have had with Monkey Boy about personal hygiene, an interesting tangent was ridden on by Booger Bear for a few minutes. I’ll pick up midway. Honestly, I participated in parts of it as well, but this section was more interesting to review with you, kind readers.
MB: I took sex ed in school this year.
BB: Do you have any questions that weren’t answered?
MB: No, I’m not doing that. It’s gross.
A few other vague yet clinical comments about what he learned in the class and from his mom and stepdad were supplied by MB. Then, BB asked the unthinkable in front of MB’s stepmom.
BB: Do you masturbate?
MB: What’s that?
BB: You know, rub one out? Play with yourself?
MB: (Dead silence)
BB: So, are you noticing girls? Do you like the way they smell?
MB: (Mumbles something incoherent)
BB: So, are you noticing boys? If you are, that’s okay too.
MB: No way!(Followed by more uncomfortable silence)
BB: You know you can talk to us about anything anytime. Sex is nothing to be ashamed of. Everybody does it at some point. “Machnbyrd” and I do; your mom and stepdad do.
MB: Ohmygod!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Then the crying ensued.)
Should we be thankful or concerned that he’s still a little boy?
“rub one out”????
This is your son’s language for it. I don’t ask; I just repeat it when it makes my entries more interesting.
Maybe you could write one listing all the expressions… I’ve heard of “beat my meat”. This post made me laugh so hard… but then it’s really close to bathroom humor, my favorite.