Two days ago, I received news that a former co-worker of mine passed away from a stroke while recovering from back surgery. While we were not close, she was a wonderful mother figure to all of those who worked with her over the last few years. I was further saddened to hear that her wishes were for no services or memorial of any kind. This leaves me puzzled and disheartened. Although I do not enjoy attending funerals, it is a necessary part of the grieving process for me. I have spoken to many other people who knew her well over the last few years, and they too feel it was out of character for her not to have at least a memorial service of some kind. While reading her succinct yet harsh obituary in the local paper, I was startled with the finality of her life. Here’s how her obituary reads (minus the true names):
Jane Doe, 53, of Las Vegas, died July 23, 2006. She was a middle school administrative assistant. She is survived by her husband, John.; and daughter, Mary. of Las Vegas. No services are scheduled.
While I respect her wishes, I do not understand why she would request no service to be held. Perhaps she wanted to be remembered as we last saw her. For me that was smiling, accepting, and spirited. Well, I suppose I do understand after all.
Rest in peace, our guardian mother.
