I Read Banned Books

My mother-in-law, Sistah CJ, is visiting. She is the antithesis of a monster-in-law. Among the many things I love about her is her sense of adventure. She is a free spirit. I have enjoyed getting to know her as the Flavor of the Month through her blog for some time now, but this week has given me the chance to get to know her on a more personal level through a series of adventures we have shared.

Upon her arrival on Monday evening, we ventured to “All-You-Can-Eat-Crab Night” at The Hush Puppy, a long standing Las Vegas eatery known for its Southern delicacies. As her community has elected to live organically, this was a real treat for her. Hearing her comment on how many people a place like this could feed made me reflect on all the times Booger Bear and I go to all-you-can-eat establishments and glut ourselves with everything from sushi to apple pie a la mode. Can I learn a lesson from her gratitude and “waste not, want not” attitude? Is less really more? I cannot give up seafood, poultry, or meat, but I can learn to eat enough in lieu of unbuttoning my pants as soon as I reach the car. One can still love food in smaller portions. Mind over matter. Just because it is an “all-you-can-eat” buffet does not mean you have to roll out of the restaurant.

Tuesday brought us a second adventure. We escaped to an exotic Asian spa, also known as a Vietnamese nail salon, where I treated CJ to a manicure and pedicure. I had my toe-toes done as well. Since I became a school administrator last February, I have allowed myself this luxury on a regular basis. It was humbling to see her so happy with what I often look at as “a small token for all my hard work.” Ironically, she played it pretty conservatively with her color choices for both her hands and feet. I always pictured her as a “New York Red Apple/Bohemian chick” over a “Moonlit Mauve mommy.” Her concern over what the other sisters would think if she returned with red nails made me think of all the times I have said “I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks of blank because I like it.” Compassion is a staple of her lifestyle. Being compassionate is a practice I too could do a little more randomly and often.

Wednesday was not a traditional hump day as we perused a local outlet mall and later gorged again at Buffalo Wild Wings. This nun knows how to have fun and to take advantage of a real bargain. She found a steal of a watch she not only wanted but also needed. As I have been known to buy two of everything because “I want it” or “I need a back-up/spare,” she waited until her old watch was no longer working before she bought a new one. As we ate lunch, she noted how fun it was to play trivia, drink corona with lime, and eat wings. Laura Ingalls Wilder once said, “I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all.” From this adventure I take the lesson that it is the simple things in life that matter, and I must remind myself to live, love, laugh, and learn.

Thursday was more of an adventure for Booger Bear than for me as he attended a chick flick with both his mommy and his wifey. This was not the usual romantic comedy I occasionally drag him to see but a comedy/drama about the fashion industry — The Devil Wears Prada. He will tell his friends that not one but two psycho hose beasts made him go see it, but he told us he wanted to see it. Personally, I am positive he went to see it because “Anne Hathaway is a hottie.” Does he know she was appeared topless in Havoc and Brokeback Mountain? A-ha! That’s how I will finally convince him to watch BM. As CJ has lived in NYC for about 11 years, she loved pointing out sites and buildings from the movie. I took in all the beautiful clothes, handbags, shoes, and accessories. While CJ is not “in desperate need of Chanel,” I might sell my own soul to the devil for a pair of Jimmy Choo’s. CJ enthusiastically told a story that she bought an armful of clothes at a consignment store in Wyoming for $35.00. I selfishly have a “That’s all” attitude when it comes to buying clothes. I could have spent X amount of dollars but blank was all I spent.

Today brought a dam good adventure in the dam car in the dam hot sun. Yes, I damn well can spell dam. We traveled in one hundred teen flippin’ degree heat to Hoover Dam in Boulder City when CJ said she had never been there. As BB, Monkey Boy, and I had been on the Dam tour once before, it was like a refresher course. This time I learned a few things I did not know remember hearing back in 1998, but it was enjoyable to see CJ’s artist’s reactions to the Bureau of Reclamation’s self-proclaimed Eighth Wonder of the Modern World. After our return, she created a scrumptious stir fry chicken, coconut rice, and sauteed asparagus linner (meal between lunch and dinner like on the AM/PM ads) for us. For MB the coconut milk rice was an adventure. It was familiar for BB to have his mommy prepare a homecooked meal; his only request was “no fake meat or bulgur surprise.” Having someone graciously volunteer to cook a savory meal (with not too much cilantro … smile) and to insist on cleaning up the kitchen was a luxury and priceless. Thank you, CJ.

As we sat with our full tummies, empty glasses of wine, and a few photographs we inherited from her upon her move into the community, I reflected on what this week with CJ has meant to her, to her first grandson, to her eldest son, and to me, her daughter-in-law. As she retold both some fond familiar stories and some “new” unfortunate memories, both my husband and I experienced yet another adventure of discovery and insight into the life of Sistah CJ. He learned a few things he never knew about his mother and her family. I learned that my favorite flavor of the month is mother-in-law. What adventures lie before us over the next two days I do not know, but I venture to say they will be rewarding. What adventures lie before Claire Joy neither she nor I know, but I suppose they will be “either be a daring adventure or nothing.”