I Read Banned Books

Mardi Gras is one of only three exceptions to the Louisiana law against wearing hoods and masks in public:

§313. Masks or hoods, wearing in public places prohibited; penalty; exceptions; permit to conduct Mardi Gras festivities, how obtained

A. No person shall use or wear in any public place of any character whatsoever, or in any open place in view thereof, a hood or mask, or anything in the nature of either, or any facial disguise of any kind or description, calculated to conceal or hide the identity of the person or to prevent his being readily recognized.

B. Whoever violates this Section shall be imprisoned for not less than six months nor more than three years.

C. This Section shall not apply:

(1) To activities of children on Halloween, to persons participating in any public parade or exhibition of an educational, religious, or historical character given by any school, church, or public governing authority, or to persons in any private residence, club, or lodge room.

(2) To persons participating in masquerade balls or entertainments, to persons participating in carnival parades or exhibitions during the period of Mardi Gras festivities, to persons participating in the parades or exhibitions of minstrel troupes, circuses, or other dramatic or amusement shows, or to promiscuous masking on Mardi Gras which are duly authorized by the governing authorities of the municipality in which they are held or by the sheriff of the parish if held outside of an incorporated municipality.

(3) To persons wearing head covering or veils pursuant to religious beliefs or customs.

D. All persons having charge or control of any of the festivities set forth in Paragraph B(2) of this Section, shall, in order to bring the persons participating therein within the exceptions contained in Paragraph B(2), make written application for and shall obtain in advance of the festivities from the mayor of the city, town, or village in which the festivities are to be held, or when the festivities are to be held outside of an incorporated city, town, or village, from the sheriff of the parish, a written permit to conduct the festivities. A general public proclamation by the mayor or sheriff authorizing the festivities shall be equivalent to an application and permit.

Acts 1999, No. 1043, §1.

Click here to learn more about the traditional Courir du Mardi Gras.

Anyone who says Las Vegas is Sin City has never lived in rural Louisiana. Revel today — repent tomorrow.

Respect, recognize, regulate, or roll out!

This is my new mean dean mantra. It’s catchy, alliterative, and totally on their level.

This is National Readin’ Week. I’ll be visitin’ several classrooms with my favorite passages from To Kill a Mockingbird (my favorite book of all time).

Have you read to a child lately? What’s on your current reading list? I’m reading Sammy’s Hill by Kristin Gore (funnier than shit — Thanks for the recommendo, KDW!) and If You Don’t Feed the Teachers, They Eat the Students! by Neila A. Conners (sage advice for the school administrator).

Wat up?

I just pimped my blog using Gizoogle.

Chezzay it out, beotches!

Now, that’s fo’ shizzle!

I’ve also shed my weak-ass honky image with my very own gangsta name! My new name is: Threepac Mafioso

Get your own gangsta name, too, crackers!

Well, it has been a while since we played this game. Which one is the lie?

1. I had my suspension conference with the arsonist today. Parent’s Excuse of All Time: He has ADHD, and ICD (Impulse Control Disorder). I checked it out. Pyromania is an actual ICD.

2. A student threw over a loaded bookcase and three tables in a classroom today because the teacher took his cell phone when it rang.

3. I pretended I was Warden Walker from Holes for Ms. O’Donnell’s classes today, and I announced to each periods’ students: “I’m surrounded by cow turds.”

Definition: the willful burning of property

Minimum consequences: parent notification, administrator/student conference, required parent conference, suspension, involvement of law enforcement, expulsion

Possible additional consequences: restitution

Who: 7th grade white male; parent added: “You know he has ADHD?”

What: fire

When: approximately 12:30 p.m. today

Where: brand new Republic Services trash bin

Why: Direct quote: “I dunno.”

How: Matches

Moral: Only you can prevent school fires.

And, yes, I have yet another expulsion packet to complete this week. Plus, I smell like I spent the day at a bonfire. Wait … I did.

Obviously I’m fresh out of original ideas. Here’s another meme:

Layer One
Name: Machnbyrd
Birthdate: January 21, 1971
Birthplace: Louisiana
Current Location: Nevada
Eye Color: Mostly Brown … Occasionally Green
Hair Color: Menage a trois … Brown, red, and blonde … washed the gray away
Righty or Lefty: Righty
Sun Sign: Aquarius
Innie or Outtie: Innie

Layer Two
Your heritage: Mutt … Cajun, French, Irish, Scottish, British
The shoes you wore today: Brown clogs
Your hair: Thick but manageable
Your eyes: umm, itchy … windy today
Your weakness: ice cream
Your fears: Dying a childless old maid with 53 cats, going blind and/or deaf
Your perfect pizza: BBQ chicken
One thing you’d like to achieve: A published book on bestseller list before I’m 40

Layer Three
Your most overused phrase: This is your only warning.
Your first waking thoughts: Five more minutes/Starbucks (tie)
The first features you notice in the opposite sex: Smile, eyes, butt
Your best physical feature: Hair
Your bedtime: 9:30 – 12:30
Your greatest fear: Being left in the world completely alone
Your greatest accomplishment: Two colleges degrees
Your most missed memory: My Aunt Betty

Layer Four
Pepsi or Coke: Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper
Single or group dates: Group with RJW and KDW (sadly not very often)
Adidas or Nike: New Balance
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Love all Republic of Tea choices
Chocolate or vanilla: White chocolate
Cappuccino or coffee: Coffee. Dark and bold.

Layer Five
Smoke: Yuck!
Cuss: Yes. Too much since becoming a dean.
Sing: Do but shouldn’t
Take a shower everyday: Nope … gotcha!
Have a crush: Not really
Been in love: Of course
Went to college: I’d be a lifelong student if I could afford it.
Liked high school: Some of it … senior year.
Want to get married: Only to Booger Bear … renewal, maybe
Believe in yourself: Usually
Type with your fingers on the right keys: Always … mom made me when younger.
Think you’re attractive: Absolutely.
Think you’re a health freak: No, I wish I had more will power and self-discipline with food.
Get along with your parents: This week.
Play an instrument: Piano.

Layer Six
In the past month, did you…
Drink alcohol: Yes
Smoke: No
Do a drug: No … wait, caffeine and alcohol
Make Out: No … work opposite shifts with Booger Bear.
Go on a date: Yes … if married people can call it that.
Eat an entire box of Oreos: No, but did eat an entire bag of hot cheetos.
Eat sushi: Yes, a few times
Been on stage: Yes
Been dumped: No
Gone skating: No
Made homemade cookies: No
Fall in love: No
Go skinny dipping: No
Dyed your hair: No, but need to.
Stolen anything: Yes. Money from hubby.

Layer Seven
Have you ever…
Played a game that required removal of clothing: Yes
If so, was it mixed company: Yes
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Yes
Been caught doing something: Yes
Been called a tease: No, I deliver. Just joking.
Gotten beaten up: Yes … PJ in elementary school.
Shoplifted: No
If so, did you get caught: n/a
Changed who you were to fit in: Hmmm … on the outside maybe … junior high

Layer Eight
Age you hope to be married: Wanted to before 30 … did at 29
Numbers and Names of Children: Stepson … Monkey Boy … would like one of my own.
Describe your Dream Wedding: in Ireland or Italy
How do you want to die: In my sleep like Rose did in Titanic
What do you want to be when you grow up: Happy and successful
What countr(ies) would you most like to visit: Italy, Scotland, Ireland, Greece, Japan, China, England, Spain

Layer Nine
Number of men I have kissed: I cannot tell a lie, so I won’t.
Number of boyfriends you’ve had: One at a time
Number of drugs taken illegally: Que?
Number of people I could trust with my life: 5
Number of CDs that I own: over 350
Number of piercings: two in each ear
Number of tattoos: None, but the one … I’d like to have.
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: numerous
Number of scars on my body: Too many
Number of things in my past that I regret: Just the one.

Spelling rule of the week:

More than one hoe … hoes

At least they didn’t spell it hoe’s. (Plural vs. Possessive – English teacher’s worst nightmare)

This feature will definitely continue as the writing on the wall gets more and more interesting each day.