My Dad is a proud Grandpa; actually, he’s just “Pa” to my two-year-old nephew whom he both affectionately and accurately refers to as “Bullhead.” (See this previous post about my Dad and nicknames.) After spending some quality time with “Bullhead” over Winter Break, I apologize to Robert Fulghum for what I am about to do.
All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned from “Bullhead” over Winter Break. Wisdom did not come with my Master’s degree, but there in the philosophy of a two-year-old with insufferable temper tantrums. These are the things I learned:
* Share nothing. (It’s all “my” or “mine” anyway.)
* Never play fair. (He’s an only child and attends day care.)
* Hit people. (See above comment part 2.)
* Leave things wherever you last had them.
* Call momma to clean up your own mess.
* Take things that aren’t yours. (Oh, I forget, “my” or “mine” before all nouns.)
* Say you’re sorry (loudly and forcefully) when you hurt somebody.
* Wash your hands before (and after) you eat. (usually with butt wipes by momma)
* No need to flush if you refuse to be potty trained.
* Warm cookies and cold milk are good for breakfast.
* Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some. (On the walls, table, bathtub and in the phone book … sometimes without washable art supplies)
* Take a nap every afternoon (with the help of Shrek, Spongebob, Barney, Nemo, or Dora on video).
* When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together (You have two choices: hold Momma’s hand or ride in the stroller).
* Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that. (Umm … he’s two and can’t sit still long enough for this one, but he often says clever things like “What happened?” and “Come see.” and “Oh, shit!”)
* Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we. (Too abstract for a two-year-old, but he does cry when he kills his toys and can’t play with them anymore.)
* And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK. (Kids today don’t have D-a-J, but he is a fan of Elmo and Ernie.)
UPDATE - After I wrote this entry and was set to publish the post, my sister called today to tell me that Bullhead was asking and looking for his aunt after he saw the quilt I have been using while staying there on the coach this morning. It’s good to be missed.
One last thing I learned from Bullhead: Make people you love and who love you smile.
Well it made me smile. Now tell me again… why do you want to have children?
Aahhh…it was like reading about my own little bullhead! We miss our little pen pal, hopefully he and momma will come to visit soon.
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