I Read Banned Books

A la parents:
1. “What do you mean he can’t bring a gun to school? It’s not in his Behavioral Intervention Plan.”
2. “I’m calling to reschedule our appointment because I got called into work late last night. I’m an entertainer at Cheetah’s.” (For the non Las Vegas readers, it’s an adult establishment.)
3. [...]

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NEW EUPHEMISMS FOR BAD STUFF AT SCHOOL
Time-out - “An Isolated Reflection Interval”
Detention - “Post-instructional Behavioral Adjustment Period”
Course Failure - “Unrequested Course Re-registration”
Incomplete Course Grade - “An Unrequited Educational Encounter”
Suspension - “Mandatory Discontinued Attendance”
In-School Suspension - “Mandatory Academically Unassigned Attendance”
Absence - “A Non-school Learning Experience”
Truancy - “An Undocumented Non-school Learning Experience”
Seating Assignment Change - “An Intraclassroom [...]

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Today was one of those days that left me feeling disheartened and disoriented. Are we failing America’s students? Am I really making a difference? Is it too late for a career change? Should I consider therapy? What will happen if I blog this?
Can you locate the lie?
1. A student being arrested for threats against me [...]

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There was a family who had three cats and one dog. The middle cat often meowed to her father, “Please, let me roam free out of this house.” On one brisk Thanksgiving morn, the male owner opened his screen door, leaving the rambunctious dog to do his business. Not long after that, [...]

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“Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.”

- Erma Bombeck
Image courtesy of The Green Mountain Inn

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7 things to do before I die
1. Write a book about middle schoolers and have it published. (Thanks for the suggestion, rjw!)2. Retire by 50 with my mind, my health, and some money.3. Take an Alaskan Cruise.4. Own my home outright.5. Take a train ride throughout Europe.6. Swim with dolphins in the ocean.7. Learn another [...]

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I give credit where credit is due. Free association has been around forever, but LunaNina gives us Unconscious Mutterings every Sunday. Come on; play along.
I say … and you think … ?

Heads up … seven up
Kicker … David Beckham (I know he does bend it sometimes.)
Aggressive … behavior
Getting ugly … C. Thomas [...]

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