Archive | October, 2005

Spit it out!

19 Oct

Umpteenth teacher’s referral reads:

Student is chewing gum.

Administrator’s action states:

Warned/Counseled/Reprimanded

Read between the lines:

I asked student to spit it out. Student complied.

Duh! It’s not rocket science.

Two Truths and a Lie Thursday is Back!

6 Oct

I’m feeling naughty today. Remember that only one of these is a lie. Really, only one is lie.

1. I secretly flipped off three students from behind my desk today. It felt great.
2. I was threatened by a student today who declared: “If you RPC me, you don’t know what kind of damage I’ll do.” (By the way, RPC stands for Required Parent Conference. It is not a verb.)
3. One teacher sent up 9 students out of her 6th period class today who joined 16 others who were already in my office.

Latin phrase of the day:

Non illigitamus carborundum – Don’t let the bastards grind you down

NULB (No Umm-dumb Left Behind) #2

1 Oct


Donald Rumsfeld is giving President Bush his daily briefing. He concludes by saying:
“Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident.”

“OH NO!” the President exclaims. “That’s terrible!”

His staff sit stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands. Finally, the President looks up and asks……….

“How many is a Brazillion?”

INCONCEIVABLE!

1 Oct

If you have ever seen The Princess Bride, you know the correct deliver of that line.

My single mom sister is/was a resident of Lake Charles, LA, until last week. Luckily, she did not lose her home, but the projected date for return of utilities is 4-6 weeks away. She and her son have been displaced; she has been shuffling back and forth between my hometown 75 miles away to go to work everyday as she is employed with the area’s EMS and must help out. She has applied for and has received financial help from FEMA, but this will cover only her gas at the now inflated prices. For the record, the American Red Cross has NOT made it to the area to offer any assistance to anyone. The repercussions are too numerous to name in this entry, but she and my nephew are alive, healthy, and happy. For that, I am grateful.

It’s “inconceivable” to me that the media has lost all focus on reporting what happened in SW Louisiana with Hurricane Rita as the devastation in city of New Orleans with Hurricane Katrina still overshadows what is happening in small towns in Calcasieu Parish. Please do not misunderstand my intentions with this entry. I suppose I am feeling a little selfish about my own family member’s plight.

Here are a few “inconceivable” facts about what is going on in the area I used to call home:

  • Residents are entering the parish at their own risk.
  • There is a strictly enforced parish-wide curfew from 7 p.m.-6 a.m. The curfew means that people cannot be outside, either on foot or in a vehicle, during this time. Make sure to carry identification at all times.
  • There is no temporary housing during the visit. Make sure to have temporary ‚“home away from home‚” arrangements secured.
  • E-911 is working, but is NOT an information line.
  • Police and fire services are limited.
  • Traffic lights are not functioning. Every intersection in the parish is officially a four-way stop. An accident endangers the lives of everyone involved, as the parish’s ability to respond and care for people is very limited.
  • Medical services are extremely limited during this period. The parish cannot handle critical care patients, special-needs people, or young children.
  • Conditions are inappropriate and generally unsafe for the elderly, ill, and young children. There is no elderly day care, child day care, or schools.
  • Pharmacies are not open, so make certain to bring needed medications.
  • There is no access to respirators, oxygen or ventilators.
  • Sewer, water, and electricity are generally not available. Conserve and restrict use of all of these services if they’re available. Portable toilets are not widely available.
  • Water in Lake Charles is not potable, meaning it cannot be drunk. Don‚’t use it to brush teeth; however, it is safe for bathing. Such water must be boiled before being used for cooking.
  • Food and water will not be provided during the visitation period. Bring enough food, water, medical supplies, medicines, and gasoline to be self-sufficient. Each incidence of a visiting resident needing assistance is going to prolong the recovery.
  • Avoid carbon monoxide poisoning. Do not cook inside with fuel-burning camp stoves or charcoal grills – they will kill you.
  • Gasoline for your personal vehicles is limited. A few gas stations may be open, but be prepared to pay in cash and be patient in long lines.
  • Expect roads to be barricaded for power restoration. Do not endanger the lives of the power lines crews by attempting to cross the barricade.
  • Expect road closures and major traffic congestion.
  • Be very careful on re-entering homes, especially if there are trees leaning against or on the roof. Use good judgment. Do not call for any public service assistance.
  • Garbage removal is a problem. If at all possible, bag household garbage in heavy trash bags and leave the parish with it.
  • Do not burn any trash or garbage.

    • Here are a few “inconceivable” images from the KPLC website: