Monkey Boy’s Non – Breakfast

22 Jul

Me (at 11:30 a.m. Yes, I slept in.): Did you eat breakfast?
Monkey Boy (up at 7:30 a.m. Yes, Cartoon Network was blaring!): No, I couldn’t find any cereal.

For my regular readers who know my stepmom woes, THERE ARE 3 CONTAINERS OF CEREAL IN THE SAME PLACE THEY ALWAYS ARE IN THE KITCHEN + 1 MORE ON THE COUNTER. I’ll continue … Sarcasm Alert!

Me: Where did you look, the bathroom?
Monkey Boy: Huh? What do you mean? (Pikachu interrupts for 10 seconds.)

Me: I’ll speak a little slower and sign for you. Where … did … you … look? (It was not ASL but very close.)
Monkey Boy: But there were no Lucky Charms.

Me (under my breath): What a dumbass! Don’t you know that Fruit Loops rock.
Monkey Boy: What’s that you say?

Me (as I pour myself a glass of shut up): Find something to eat before noon.

Monkey Boy goes home to Mommy on August 3. She probably fixes bacon and eggs every morning. Sorry, my idea of breakfast is Starbuck’s Vanilla Nonfat Latte and Lowfat Blueberry Coffee Cake. I’ve missed you, North Las Vegas store.

P.S. He finally fixed and ate a ham and cheese sandwich at approximately 12:15.

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4 Responses to “Monkey Boy’s Non – Breakfast”

  1. kdw July 22, 2005 at 1:59 pm #

    Hmmm…..even I could probably find the cereal in your house if I needed to….but, no Lucky Charms? That’s a travesty.

    As for his Mom cooking bacon and eggs every morning…do you really think the anti-Glinda has time in her busy schedule? :)

    I’m with you on the latte and coffee cake….missed you today, Sahara/Decatur store!

    Reply
  2. machnbyrd July 22, 2005 at 3:25 pm #

    anti-Glinda … Now that’s one way to put it.

    busy schedule … she’s taking classes online now AND lifeguarding part-time

    okay … I better stop now.

    Reply
  3. cj July 23, 2005 at 3:23 am #

    Your very old-fashioned m-i-l would have let him go hungry a few times to maybe spur some spark of ingenuity/creativity/self-startedness in his little brain… but that’s me.

    Reply
  4. machnbyrd July 23, 2005 at 10:50 am #

    Oh, I don’t feed him (fix it) for breakfast or lunch. He is capable of preparing those meals for himself and knows that if he doesn’t eat either of them he will be be waiting until supper to eat. And, yes, there is always lunchmeat, cheese, pb&j, bread, cereal, and milk in my kitchen.

    He has gone hungry a few times.

    Reply

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